Crimson Shadows Page 18

  "Look, your mother's in Chicago and you know the astral plane only works for thirty miles," Jimmy reasoned. "She has to wait for sunset tomorrow before she can go anywhere. That means she's not getting back here until ten at the earliest. We'll have plenty of time tomorrow to do this ... together. Don't you dare try and do this during the day by yourself. It's not a job for one person." Carefully, Jimmy tucked Ellie back into bed, pulling the cotton sheets and comforter up to her chin. "Now get some rest, would you? You must be exhausted."

  "Don't go," Ellie pleaded as Jimmy stood up. "Stay with me."

  "Sure,"Jimmy said and perched on the edge of the bed. "Scoot over a little, would you?"

  Obligingly, Ellie moved toward the center of the huge bed and Jimmy leaned against the headboard, thinking he'd remain here until Ellie finally fell asleep.

  But Ellie had other ideas. 'Jimmy, do you think you could sleep here? My room has shutters to protect you during the day. I don't want to wake up by myself."

  Jimmy wondered how Maggie would feel about him sharing a room with her seventeen-year-old daughter. Naturally Jimmy would rest on the floor and give Ellie the bed. Still, Ellie wasn't a child anymore, and Jimmy didn't know if they should sleep in the same room.

  Get a grip, Jimmy told himself disgustedly. He was being a prude of the worst sort, putting some kind of half-assed morality ahead of Ellie's obvious distress. She just wanted someone to watch over her—was that so bad? Jimmy had no doubt if Maggie were here, Ellie would probably stay with her tonight.

  "Okay," Jimmy said and something loosened in his chest at Ellie's sudden, grateful smile. He thought he should tell Ellie it was her doing him a favor, relieving his loneliness. He hadn't fallen asleep with someone else in the room for decades, not since he met Maggie. When he'd been mortal, she absolutely refused to let him spend the day in her bed . . . Maggie didn't want anyone to see her in her resting state. Actually, Jimmy wasn't that crazy about Ellie seeing him in his waxen, embalmed-looking daytime slumber but he figured she had to be used to it by now. Jimmy knew Maggie had let Ellie sleep in her room when she was little though she continued to bar the door to Jimmy even after he was immortal—no doubt thinking scumbag Lord Baldevar wouldn't approve.

  "You want some of that Valium?" Jimmy asked but

  Ellie shook her head, curling up into such a ball of misery the only thing Jimmy could do was reach over and pull her against him, stroking her bright caramel hair like he'd done when she was a litde girl. Poor kid, it wasn't enough a man she looked up to like a father was murdered—he'd been murdered by her own twin and now that twisted sibling was looking to hurt Ellie as well. Jimmy couldn't even guess what she was going through ... no wonder she didn't want to sleep alone.

  "I know," Jimmy murmured while Ellie wept. "I know, honey. It's terrible what happened . . . you go right ahead and cry. Try and get it all out."

  "I'm scared," Ellie cried and looked up at him beseechingly. "Jimmy, I'm so scared for Mom. What if Mikal gets her?"

  Gritting his teeth, Jimmy forced himself to say words that only a day before he'd have sworn on his life would never come out of his mouth. "Maggie will be fine. Your . . . father will protect her. He's very strong, Ellie ... he's managed to destroy everyone that ever went up against him. He won't let anyone harm your mom."

  As he spoke, Jimmy knew he was telling Ellie the truth. Much as he despised Lord Baldevar, the fiend did have a great deal of power and Jimmy knew he'd use every bit of it to ensure Maggie's safety. Still, it galled Jimmy to have to say anything even vaguely complimentary about Simon Baldevar, to have to invoke his name to soothe Ellie. How did the rotten sonofabitch do it? Even when he wasn't here, Baldevar managed to move Jimmy into untenable positions.

  "Why is Mikal doing this?" Ellie asked, her big green eyes fastened on Jimmy's like he had all the answers, making him feel absurdly smart and protective. "Why?"

  "I don't know, baby," Jimmy answered and continued petting her hair. "I don't know." Of course Jimmy knew. They were suffering through this nightmare because Simon Baldevar had spawned a son as eager to revel in the pain of others as he was. That Ellie had turned out as sweet and perfect as she was, was a testament to the good in the mother that raised her and the absence of her loathsome father while she was growing up.

  But Jimmy couldn't run Simon Baldevar down in front of Ellie. Right now, she needed to believe he was invincible, that he'd keep her and her mother safe. Soon enough Ellie would have to face what Simon Baldevar truly was, but tonight wasn't the time for that.

  "Shhh," Jimmy soothed and felt the wire-tight tension in Ellie start to ease as she slumped against him. He used the sleeve of his robe to dry her eyes, silently marveling at how right it felt to hold Ellie, how her long, slender body was the perfect complement to his own rangy form. Funny that he couldn't seem to remember any other woman ever fitting into him so well.

  It didn't take long for other parts of Jimmy to agree with his assessment of the situation, parts that to his utter mortification were starting to lengthen and swell against the cool curve of Ellie's thigh.

  Embarrassed by his erection, Jimmy started to push Ellie away, stammer out an apology but, to his amazement, she pressed herself against the hard flesh and looked up at him with the same eager expectation she'd had when they ate dinner together and he almost kissed her.

  She wants me, Jimmy thought and that knowledge only made him grow harder as he fell into a delicious trap of flushed cheeks, long-lidded, sleepy looking eyes and full, pouting pink lips pursed together as Ellie stared up at him in mute entreaty.

  "Kiss me, Jimmy," she whispered and Jimmy needed no more persuasion than that breathy little plea. Desire blotted out all other thoughts until it seemed there was no past or future but only a present where Jimmy couldn't battle the gnawing ache inside him that screamed for him to take her. He forgot Ellie's youth, forgot she was Maggie O'Neill's daughter, forgot everything but the ripe, eager body arching beneath him impatiently.

  With no thought but seduction, Jimmy gently pushed her down onto the bed and settled his weight on top of her, feeling a dizzying throb at the way she melted beneath him. He caressed her breasts through the thin cotton T-shirt she wore and kissed her, actually moaning at the unexpected heat of her moist mouth and cool little tongue boldly darting out to meet his own.

  He'd never enjoyed kissing anyone this much. Ellie molded her mouth to his like she'd been made for him and her earnest attempts to copy his movements excited him to a fever pitch of desire utterly new to him.

  Then she started to arch her pelvis against his heaving, twitching cock and Jimmy almost buried himself at that moment but reminded himself he wasn't some college boy or animal to just ram it in. Using the never-fail trick of recalling batting averages to calm down, Jimmy wrested free of her lips and stripped Ellie free of her T-shirt while he threw off his robe to enjoy the sensation of his naked skin against hers.

  He smiled at the golden honey color of her tanned skin contrasting against the marble white of his own. Jimmy wanted to know every inch of that sun-kissed skin, rubbing his lips against the warmth of her was nearly as good as feeling the sun warm his own skin again.

  Ellie trembled as Jimmy breathed in her unique scent, tart, fresh and uncomplicated by artificial perfumes. Ellie undressed was a surprise to him. Despite her queenly height, she had a small bone structure that made her seem fragile and delicate as his hands explored her.

  Jimmy's lips moved past her flat stomach and waspy waist to take in her breasts, wonderfully high and conical shaped with tempting strawberry colored nipples that beckoned him to come closer.

  Jimmy fastened his mouth to the aureole of her right breast while his hand swirled around the bounty of her left breast. Ellie came to life beneath him immediately, her body buckling while the nipple puckered and tightened beneath his eager tongue and teeth.

  "Jimmy," he heard her moan and he felt the passion start to rush through her bloodstream. Jimmy forced his blood teeth, roused by th
e heady fragrance he detected beneath her golden skin, back by sheer force of will. Damned if he'd let blood lust destroy the good, simple pleasure of sex.

  When he had the trenchant need for blood firmly under control, Jimmy grabbed the thick, pulsating organ between his legs, ready to drive it between Ellie's exquisitely curved thighs.

  But then he made the mistake of looking into Ellie's eyes, cloudy green eyes that reminded him of another emerald-eyed lover he'd once had—one that would kill him if she knew what he was doing with her daughter.

  With a sharp cry, Jimmy threw himself off the bed and grabbed his robe, fleeing the bed before he did something even worse than what had already transpired between him and Ellie. Walking was difficult since his cock had not gone down one centimeter, impervious to guilt and demanding that he go back to Ellie or use his hand at once.

  Limping to the hallway, Jimmy sagged against the wall, asking himself when he'd turned into some kind of child molesting, low-riding, Woody Allen motherfucker that attacked the daughter of his former lover.

  What was the matter with him? All Jimmy knew was he'd been waylaid since that foamy mug of beer appeared in his hand and he turned around to scope out a possible lay and found himself seriously interested in the willowy brunette it actually took him a few seconds to recognize as Ellie. What the hell had happened to the long-legged, coltish teenager she'd been only a year ago? When had Ellie turned into a woman ... a very desirable one at that?

  Desirable or not, Ellie Winslow was one woman Jimmy could never have. It wasn't right to lust after a young girl you'd known since she was a toddler scampering around the house. It made no difference that Ellie hadn't seemed reluctant, indeed had encouraged his advances. That would cut no ice with Maggie if she found out what had happened ... she'd put all the blame on Jimmy and rightfully so.

  Ellie couldn't be held responsible; she was just indulging in some teenaged fantasy about an older man she'd known all her life. Her grief for Charles and worry for Maggie had put Ellie in a vulnerable state and Jimmy was a lowlife snake for taking advantage of it. The one thing he'd done right was leaving the room before things went further.

  If Ellie hadn't needed his protection so badly, Jimmy would have slunk out of the house right then, never to return. What he was feeling for Ellie was wrong and he knew it. But Jimmy didn't know if he could turn it off, so he thought it best to just avoid being alone with Ellie until Maggie got back to look after her.

  His sharp ears picked up a pair of feet rushing along plush carpet and Jimmy briefly thought of taking off but told himself to stop being such a coward. Was he not only a pervert but also a wimp that he couldn't face Ellie and tell her they had to forget tonight?

  So Jimmy remained slumped by the wall and waited for Ellie to emerge from her bedroom, wearing nothing but the skimpy little shirt that barely covered her long, exquisitely molded thighs.

  "Why do you keep running away from me, Jimmy?" Ellie demanded, crossing her arms beneath her breasts so the hemline of her shirt was raised perilously high on her thighs. "You have some nerve, not finishing what you started."

  "Huh?" Had she come out of the room with a stake in her hand, Jimmy couldn't be more flummoxed. Ellie wasn't like Maggie, blurting out whatever came to mind in anger. Ellie usually hid her feelings behind a wall of nonchalance, a quality Jimmy privately thought she must have inherited from Lord Baldevar.

  "How dare you just walk out on me like that," Ellie steamed, her face mottled red with anger and scorned pride. 'There were two of us in that bed, you don't call all the shots ... you could have at least had the common decency to talk to me ..."

  "Talk to you about what?" Jimmy demanded, determined to nip this in the bud. Ellie was talking as though there was no history between them but a possible sexual encounter. She'd conveniently forgotten he was her mother's ex-boyfriend, that Ellie could very well have been his daughter instead of Simon Baldevar's. "There's nothing to discuss. What happened in there was a mistake."

  Ellie's eyes narrowed into tiny green slits and her fists lashed out to attack his chest, not with the dainty outrage of a petulant movie heroine but solid jabs and punches any prize fighter would envy.

  "Mistake?" Ellie screamed while Jimmy grabbed her hands and pushed her against the wall to keep her still. "Fuck you, Jimmy! How dare you call me a mistake ..."

  "Not you,"Jimmy broke in, thankful for the vampiric strength that enabled him to hold Ellie still without exerting too much force on her wrists. "What we almost did. For Christ's sake, Ellie, you're only seventeen. I had no business touching you."

  "I'll be eighteen in December," Ellie replied, as though that solved everything. "And I want you. Don't you want me?"

  Jimmy almost laughed. Lucky Ellie couldn't see how much he wanted her, wanted nothing more than to throw her over his shoulder and take her back into the bedroom. "Ellie, it's not just a question of want..."

  "Oh, yes it is," she cried, trying to wrench out of his grip. "Answer my question, Jimmy. Do you want me?"

  "So what if I do?" he yelled into her stubborn, angry face. "I'm not gonna have you, you can be sure of that! I'm not some sleazy asshole that hits on children!"

  "I am not a child!" Ellie screamed back and Jimmy felt like even more of an asshole when he saw her stung expression. "I haven't been a child for a long time ... you can't be a child and keep the secrets I've had to keep. Did you have a degree by the time you were seventeen? Child! How dare you minimize me like that!"

  "Okay," Jimmy said and held up his hands for silence. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you a child. But there's one fact you can't argue with—you're

  Maggie's child. Ellie, can't you see how wrong that makes all this?"

  "Only if you still want my mother," Ellie said, her eyes not moving an inch from his. "If you ... if you still want my mother and I'm just some substitute, then I ... I don't want to do this. I don't want you comparing me with her, thinking of her when ..."

  "No!" Jimmy cried before Ellie could finish. "No, Ellie, I wasn't thinking of Maggie at all. I only thought of you."

  Ellie's smile, a swift bloom across her face that melted her haughty features, made Jimmy smile back almost as a reflex. Before he knew what was happening, the body pressed against his lost its taut, strained feeling and a limpid softness took its place.

  "Ellie .. ."Jimmy pleaded weakly and she laughed, the confident, self-assured laugh of a woman, not a teenaged girl.

  "Give me one good reason why not," she said.

  "How about a thousand?" Jimmy sighed, petting her silky, bright hair he couldn't seem to keep his hands off. "I don't want to hurt you. You deserve better than some cheap one-night stand."

  "Is that all you want from me, Jimmy?"

  How could he tell her that was all he'd had for the past eighteen years? That was the impenetrable barrier between him and Ellie .. .Jimmy couldn't tell her he had plenty of sex, but the last time he made love was with her mother.

  "Talk to me, Jimmy," Ellie said and reached up to brush heavy locks of hair off his forehead.

  Jimmy didn't know if it was that lover-like gesture or her eyes shining with such empathy and concern but Jimmy found himself confessing everything to Ellie.

  "She broke my heart, "Jimmy began and knew Ellie needed no explanation of which she he meant. "After

  Jay died, I was a wreck ... a drunk, half-crazed wreck. She plucked me up out of the gutter and turned my life around. She taught me to fight back, made me strong and good in a way I'd never imagined I could be. I would have laid down my life for her; I loved her so damn much. I'd never met anyone like her ... so full of life and fire. She took me in and made me her friend and lover but she never said she loved me. Do you know what that's like, to love someone with all your heart and know they don't feel the same? I tried so hard to make her love me but she wouldn't."

  That's because she loved someone else," Ellie said softly and Jimmy nodded.

  "Yeah," he said on a shaky breath. "That was the hell of
it... she was in love with someone else. I never wanted to admit that, even to myself. But finally I had to face it and after that, I... I shut down. I was empty inside. I couldn't imagine loving someone else. I didn't ever want to feel that kind of pain again. So that's why I don't want to start anything with you, Ellie. You deserve better than me. You deserve a guy who'll love you with all his heart."

  "I know about love," Ellie said and put her hand over Jimmy's heart. "Once I thought I might be in love but then I knew I wasn't."

  "How did you know?" Jimmy asked, bemused by the sudden rush of jealousy he felt toward this unknown man Ellie thought she loved.

  "I couldn't tell him what I am," Ellie answered and pressed down hard on his chest with her hand. "Don't you see, Jimmy? I can be myself with you. You know all my secrets and I know yours. You don't have to pretend with me and I'm not interested in anyone but you. Isn't that more than you have with any other woman?"

  "Ellie ..."

  Ellie reached up and put a finger over his lips. "Let me finish. You say I deserve a man who'll love me. I know you love me, Jimmy. You've told me so plenty of times. I know what you're going to say—that isn't the same as being in love with me. Well, I don't expect you to be in love with me, yet.. . even though I'm in love with you. I realized that tonight, that I've loved you for a long time without being aware of it Any time I got interested in a boy, it was because he had long hair or he was funny or he liked rock and roll. . . every boy I've ever dated reminded me of you in some way. I love you, Jimmy. I want to be with you."

  Ellie took a breath but Jimmy didn't interrupt. Had she any idea she was offering him exactly what he'd always wanted, for someone to make him their center the same way he longed to give all that scorned, rejected love he'd had for Maggie to the right woman? Was it possible that woman was Ellie?

  'You say I deserve better than you," she continued in that level voice that bespoke maturity far beyond her seventeen years. "First, I don't agree with that. I think you're one of the finest men I've ever known but you just don't know it. But let's say you're not as good as you could be. I know some of what you told me about my father—the awful things he's done—is true. But he's better now and that's all because of Mom. She made him a better man." Ellie ignored Jimmy's rolled eyes, disbelieving huff, and went on. "Who's to say I can't do the same for you? Let me make you love again, Jimmy."